Friday, May 2, 2014

It's been a year....

It's been a year since my dad died and I bought these flowers for me. 

When I turned 50 I promised myself that my 50's would be the best time of my life.  It started out well, I started this blog and without trying lost 25 lbs. just by trying new recipes as I dived into the blogger world.  It ended quickly.  My parent's were in a car accident when they were rear-ended by another person totalling off their car completely.  Luckily no one was hurt... or so it seemed.  Little did we know that day that my parents lives would unravel so quickly.  My mom's heart condition suddenly became serious - so serious that professionals refused to operate as she would die on the table.  We had just lined up a specialist willing to see her and she died the day they called to confirm her appointment.  My father was diagnosed with ALS that same week.  We had sold their house and we moved him 5 times as he went downhill quickly.  He finally settled in my home as the best place for him when he realized that no matter where he was living he would be a burden and that he needed his family around him.  Renovations took place to accommodate his special needs as his health would only continue to deteriorate.  Homecare workers coming and going from my house became the norm and I lost track of everything I owned as things were moved all over the house to make room for special equipment.  The costs were astronomical and cut into his savings quickly and my own expenses skyrocketed as I stopped keeping track of what I was spending money on and whether it was his money or mine.  I didn't care as long as he was comfortable and felt at home.  I'm proud to say he was and we were assured by the specialist's that came to see him that he was receiving better care than he would ever get in any nursing home or hospital.  I worked full time and became a night nurse - meaning a lot of stress and very little sleep at night.  His last wish was to die in my home and again the doctors assured us he was better here than anywhere else.  When my dad finally passed I figured that was the end of the nightmare - it wasn't.  I was suffering from complete physical exhaustion and I'm amazed what that does to your body.  It's not something you can bounce back from with a good nights sleep and one year later I'm still feeling the effects.  This past harsh winter hasn't helped and the after effects have left their mark.  I'm pushing myself despite the exhaustion to put my house back into order.  Not easy when you consider how much damage was done and the enormous expense involved. 

Today though I'm determined to turn over a new leaf.  Literally.  I've been told by many that I need to get a hobby.  Oh did I mention that my son is also preparing a plan to fly the coup and I may soon become an empty nester?  Necessary but after all that I've been through it's difficult.  So back to the hobby.  Photography is the one I've chosen and I purchased a new camera today to begin. 

I've been meaning to purchase a camera for awhile but just didn't have the time.  I debated about getting the T5i but given the price difference and my beginner status I decided this was the way to start.  By the way the images above were taken right out of the box.  I still need to read the book of words and begin experimenting with lighting before I expect to get the quality I'm looking for.  Still it's a start.
So I'm hoping to upload more original material from my life.  Hopefully more upbeat than this.


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