Good-Bye Oscar

I was sorry to hear about the death of Oscar de la Renta.  One of my all time favourite designers and from all appearances a genuinely talented, sophisticated gentlemen.  I like this style.  Without going overly flamboyant and over the top, his style always maintained a sense of dignity and that is something that I not only admire but must admit is very hard to maintain. My heart goes out to his widow and to those who knew him so well.  The lovely hand written letter on the home of page   http://www.oscardelarenta.com/ says it all.

It's been a year....

It's been a year since my dad died and I bought these flowers for me. 

When I turned 50 I promised myself that my 50's would be the best time of my life.  It started out well, I started this blog and without trying lost 25 lbs. just by trying new recipes as I dived into the blogger world.  It ended quickly.  My parent's were in a car accident when they were rear-ended by another person totalling off their car completely.  Luckily no one was hurt... or so it seemed.  Little did we know that day that my parents lives would unravel so quickly.  My mom's heart condition suddenly became serious - so serious that professionals refused to operate as she would die on the table.  We had just lined up a specialist willing to see her and she died the day they called to confirm her appointment.  My father was diagnosed with ALS that same week.  We had sold their house and we moved him 5 times as he went downhill quickly.  He finally settled in my home as the best place for him when he realized that no matter where he was living he would be a burden and that he needed his family around him.  Renovations took place to accommodate his special needs as his health would only continue to deteriorate.  Homecare workers coming and going from my house became the norm and I lost track of everything I owned as things were moved all over the house to make room for special equipment.  The costs were astronomical and cut into his savings quickly and my own expenses skyrocketed as I stopped keeping track of what I was spending money on and whether it was his money or mine.  I didn't care as long as he was comfortable and felt at home.  I'm proud to say he was and we were assured by the specialist's that came to see him that he was receiving better care than he would ever get in any nursing home or hospital.  I worked full time and became a night nurse - meaning a lot of stress and very little sleep at night.  His last wish was to die in my home and again the doctors assured us he was better here than anywhere else.  When my dad finally passed I figured that was the end of the nightmare - it wasn't.  I was suffering from complete physical exhaustion and I'm amazed what that does to your body.  It's not something you can bounce back from with a good nights sleep and one year later I'm still feeling the effects.  This past harsh winter hasn't helped and the after effects have left their mark.  I'm pushing myself despite the exhaustion to put my house back into order.  Not easy when you consider how much damage was done and the enormous expense involved. 

Today though I'm determined to turn over a new leaf.  Literally.  I've been told by many that I need to get a hobby.  Oh did I mention that my son is also preparing a plan to fly the coup and I may soon become an empty nester?  Necessary but after all that I've been through it's difficult.  So back to the hobby.  Photography is the one I've chosen and I purchased a new camera today to begin. 

 

I've been meaning to purchase a camera for awhile but just didn't have the time.  I debated about getting the T5i but given the price difference and my beginner status I decided this was the way to start.  By the way the images above were taken right out of the box.  I still need to read the book of words and begin experimenting with lighting before I expect to get the quality I'm looking for.  Still it's a start.

 

So I'm hoping to upload more original material from my life.  Hopefully more upbeat than this.

 



 



Goodbye Dad

The southwest was one of my dad's favorite spots on the planet.

 

 

My dad passed away in his sleep tonight.  His battle with the cruel disease called Lou Gehrig's Disease finally ended and in his case I know he's in a better place.  He's finally free from the cruelty that this disease puts its victims (and they're loved ones) through. 

 

 

I hope you're at peace dad.  We'll always love you and I'll personally miss you terribly.  You were always there for me and I hope that I was there for you when you needed me the most as well.  God bless you. 

 

 

I love you Dad.

 

 

We Miss You

When I was a little girl I used to pick Queen Anne's lace for my mom because it grew everywhere around our house.  Never mind that it was a weed it was pretty.  Today is the one year anniversary since her death and I'm picking some in a different medium for her.   She's greatly missed.  It's been a really horrible year for my family with more to come.  However, I'd rather remember her with warmth in my heart so the mourning period is over.  We love and miss you mom.

Moving On

The last few days have been really difficult ones for me and my family.  My mother left a letter for each of us telling us not to grieve for her for long so we've all agreed that we need to get back to our lives and take stock today.  Keeping a blog filled with pretty images can sometimes feel superficial, but it's who I am and I've found comfort and inspiration here at times.  As such, I'm going to keep going with the blog.  We're talking about taking a vacation for a change of scenery soon rather than waiting for winter, but for now I've decided it's time to get back to work, and my regular routine. 

My mom loved fall when the leaves had changed the most and she loved to take long walks through the woods.  I choice this picture for her since it reminds me of where I grew up and one of my mom's favorite trails.  Thank you to whoever took this photo.

Image source tumblr

For My Mom

For my mom who passed away in her sleep last night.  We love you and we'll miss you always.

I hope you're at peace mom.   With all my love.

Lest We Forget

Today is the 10th anniversary of September 11th.  The ripple effects from that day have affected everyone in the world in the last ten years.  My heart still bleeds for those who lost their lives that day and for those that are still dealing with the tragedy.  Life has never been the same since.  My son had just entered grade 1 at the time and now he's 6' tall.  It puts the last ten years into perspective when I remember that day so clearly.  The insanity - for there is no other way to describe the mindset of the terrorists - has changed the world on almost every level.  Let's hope that the next ten years help us to regain some of the innocence lost and help heal the emotional trauma from that day.

In Memoriam



It seems crass to show a commercial here, but it was one of the most moving commercials I've ever seen.  It literally brought me to tears when I first saw it and I was struck by how much it meant to me.  I've never forgotten it and wanted to show it here because it's special to me.  This is a commercial Budweiser did for 9/11. They only aired it once so as not to benefit financially from it. They just wanted to acknowledge that horrible day and pay tribute to America and its heroes.  Thank you Budweiser for expressing so beautifully what I couldn't.